Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
This couple is walking their pig around campus
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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