my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
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