dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
