U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
