It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Randomize
