there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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