I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
