i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
