He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
