Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
