I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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