Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
This is the high leading the old right now
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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