Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
