I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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