let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
So here I am, sexting at work.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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