He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
