i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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