Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
