He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Alive.
So much puke
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
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