forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I have feelings that need drinking.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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