Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
