She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
These tits shall not be calmed
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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