I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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