Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you traded sex for a burrito?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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