Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
