Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
