uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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