im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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