I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
