if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Holy sore nipples Batman
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
