well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i already hear my dad disowning me
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
