she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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