I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
