I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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