I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
