I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
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