soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
