I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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