you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
