I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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