Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
