There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
