Dual....:-)
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
