Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
a search helicopter?!
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
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