there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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