I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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