I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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