part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
