Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
