You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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